It’s my birthdayyyyyy! I’m 28, and it feels pretty damn good.
Whenever it’s my birthday, I always tend to look back at the previous year to reflect on all that has happened. What guys I dated, what promotion I got at work, the trips I went on, and the friends that I made. When looking back at this past year it’s crazy to think how much has happened. 27 was an emotional year for me to say the least. Maybe it was the astros, or maybe it was all the work I put into discovering more of myself and this universe. But regardless, it brought up a hell of a lot to face and learn from. I challenged myself, cried a bunch, laughed more than ever, experienced love, and lived much more freely than I have ever before.
I call 27 my year of getting ghosted. And I promise, I can really laugh about it now. 😉 Every guy I dated seemed to somehow do the ghosting act. I really began to think there was something wrong with me. It wasn’t getting the guy that was necessarily hard for me, but it was keeping them that I just really sucked at. I took it so personally, especially with my physical appearance. I figured I just must not be skinny or pretty enough. But after diets and botox, I still felt shitty. So I began to look at what was going on inside me, and that’s always fun.
I saw so clearly that when I start to lose touch of who I really am – my authentic self – and begin to play into a role, that things start to shift in my relationships. I create stories, get in my head, have self-doubt and insecurities, and cut off any natural energy flow in my interactions. This comes from a lack of self love deep within me that seems to come out the strongest when I am in relationships. But through this I learned that no other person, material item, or circumstance can make me feel more loved than loving myself first. And nothing feels more wholesome, happy and healthy in a relationship than when we feel free to show up exactly as we are and to be exactly who we are. It sounds crazy but it is one of the reasons why I love meditating so much. I feel an overwhelming warmth of love come over me and it is some of the the most peaceful moments that I experience. I’ve learned that it is when we can find this abundance within ourselves that we will then attract someone who sees us in that exact light.
This is not easy to talk about it, but I want to be more open with you guys about my journey. Loving my body, owning my strengths, embracing my shadow self, and letting go each day to the universe has opened up so much space for people and opportunities to enter into my life.
So with that, I would have to say the biggest lesson I learned at 27 is to be no one other than yourself. Don’t try to portray the girls you see on Instagram (they’re all edited anyways), pretend you’re interested in things you’re not, or put on any certain act in order to get someone to like you. Stay on your throne, be true to yourself, LOVE yourself, live from your heart and be open to what will come your way. Pour so much love and energy into yourself each day and you will literally light up with abundance.
I kept a journal through this all (you guys know I love a good journal sesh) and want to share with you some of my favorite quotes that have helped me through this past year. Maybe it will resonate with you, or maybe it wont. We’re all on our own journey and all I wish is that you stay true to yourself, follow your heart, and be open to all that the universe is bringing your way.
My 27 year old guide to life…
- Happiness is my beacon.
- Devote yourself to consciousness.
- What would my life be like if I knew I was always being guided?
- Spiritual surrender is when we have no attachment to a result, we give up control and let go of our resistance to love.
- Meet heart to heart. We all have unhealed places. We do not have to try to hide our weakness but understand the relationship is a context for healing.
- There has never been a storm that has not passed.
- If I think that I am not good enough, than how will I attract anyone in my life who thinks I am? I can accept someone into my life who thinks I am wonderful when I myself think I am wonderful.
- Self-acceptance is death to the ego.
- Let go and see what appears…
- Your relationship with the universe is within yourself.
- He is not the enemy. The enemy is this feeling. I can choose to see this differently. This is my wall.
- Love and forgiveness are medicine for the soul. The soul craves meaning.
- Whatever you think about others, you think about yourself.
- You always have an opportunity in the present to heal those relationships from the past.
- Trust her, no mater what appears to be happening on the outside.
- All relationships are assignments. Every time you meet someone you were meant to meet them. That is an assignment by the universe.
- Our minds are controlled by this illusion that there is one person that will make everything right.
- Relax and know that abundance is already mine.
- When you see the light in others, you begin to see it in yourself.
- Love without expectations.
- We are always seeking for wholeness, completeness and growth.
- When you fall in love with yourself, another will come along and love her too.
- All human relationships are therapy. We grow more with someone who we can dive deep with.
- What matters is that we share who and what we are. I am going to share it regardless of what the response is.
- It is only what you let go that you can have
- Relax. Release. Let things be how they are. Free yourself of it.
- Real abundance is within.
- Be my own person. My own life. My own dreams and goals. Be whole, complete, love.
- Quiet the mind and the soul will speak.
- As my mind wanders, practice staying with me. Knowing “he” is within and as I truly embrace this my whole world will shift.
- All I admire in him I only see because it is already within me.
- Keep creating your own life.
- The miracle is when we can turn the focus inward without judgement and let the universe be our healer.
- Surrender to love as often as possible.
- I am responsible for what I see. Our projection is our perception.
- My body is a vessel through which I spread love.
- The past is over. It cannot touch me. The present is the only place where a miracle can happen.
- Your vibe speaks louder than your words.
- Change your thoughts and watch how your life changes.
- Do not focus on an outcome. Just be. Turn within and just be with that is.
- See the beauty around you and within you today.
- One cannot attain inner peace looking on the outside.
- We are that we seek.