Why is it that when I’m feeling emotional, I always want to order froyo.. or go into a black Instagram hole.. or shop. Hold on tight guys because we’ve got answers and are about to go deep. 🙂
I’ve been working with my spiritual teachers for several years, and I am just now realllyyy discovering the deep-rooted reasons as to why I (and many of us!) do this. I am one of those, you have to experience it to really get it types of people… well, now I’m getting it. I am ultimately trying to mask uncomfortable feelings with addictive patterns; like food (froyo is my thing), social media (the worst), shopping, etc. Ultimately, these unconscious forms of resistance become behaviors so I do not have to feel. When I give into froyo and the gram, the feelings tend to disappear, however they will continue to come back until I am able to recognize each emotion I am feeling as evidence of a much deeper healing journey already in progress.
When I learned that “feeling is healing'” it put a whole new perspective on the way I choose to react to things. (Alyssa, put down the phone). The moment I start to feel, is the moment I can start to heal. When I allow myself to get uncomfortable, I shine light on these negative feelings such as sadness, confusion, anger or guilt, and allow myself to fully feel every emotion. Through this openness, I am allowing space for true healing to occur. I am training my mind and thought processes to rewire and to think in a new way. This is definitely not always easy (I literally squirm), but it can also be the most amazing and rewarding lesson at the same time! I promise you this.
Our cells all have emotional memories from past experiences such as our childhood or early adolescence that carry these past feelings. So when an emotion comes up like guilt for instance, it’s bringing up memories from all the past moments where you experienced feeling guilty. A way to truly release these emotional cells into the universe is to allow yourself to finally fully feel.
So how do we break this numbing pattern we are so conditioned to turn to? And how do we begin to heal from the root source of our feelings? I’ve included my personal practice based off that I have learned from my amazing teachers. This practice allows you to fully feel what is coming up for you and release it in the most natural and high vibrational way! This will be an ongoing journey, but with the right tools (love a good toolkit) you can create the shift you may be looking for in your life. 🙂
When you feel the urge to mask an uncomfortable feeling coming up for you, you can try the practice below in that moment instead of giving into the urge. If you still need to order ice-cream afterwards, that’s fine too! I get it. No guilt or shame, just reflection of awareness and self-honesty. And always remember, this is your individual journey. 🙂
1. Sit comfortably in a chair or meditation position, close your eyes and slow down your breathing to a pace that is comfortable for you. Almost a meditative state, or actual meditation.
2. Try to find where the emotion is physically coming up for you in your body. Is it your heart, stomach, throat? If you can’t tell, then go with your heart.
3. Do not focus on who is to blame or the circumstances.
4. Bring your breath slowly into that area and continue slowly and deeply breathing to fill your body completely with the emotion. Greater attention to the area of pain will loosen the layer of cellular memory.
5. Picture a bright, white light in front of the area where your pain resides and let that light fill the space completely.
6. Repeat “I love you” or the healing mantra from spiritual healer Matt Kahn, “I accept that this feeling is only here to be embraced as it has never been embraced before” for roughly 2 minutes or however long is comfortable for you.
7. When the sensation starts to lessen, take a very large deep breath and as you exhale wrap your arms around yourself honoring, forgiving and accepting your process.
8. Slowly open your eyes and reacclimate.
9. Lastly, journaling any additional feelings that came up during this practice of self-love is very helpful for reflection later.
10. Honor every part of your journey. 🙂