My plans tonight sum me up in a nut shell:
- 5:30PM Eyelash extension appointment.
- 7:30PM Meditation event.
- 9:00PM Blind date.
I’ve been learning that embracing all aspects of myself, despite how contrasted they may seem, is what keeps me the most balanced in my life. Like I can be one of the deepest humans you meet – talk meditation, breath work, meaning of the cosmos – all while having eyelash extensions out to my micro-bladed eyebrows. That is just me, and I’m learning to love it. I like beautiful things, both on the inside and out. And when I live in this truth, I feel the most balanced in my life.
This past year I’ve questioned a lot of what is “spiritual” or not, and if I am showing up as my most authentic self. Living in Manhattan is not always as easy as it looks. It’s fast paced, superficial, demanding and stressful at times; but also one of the reasons I am in love with this city. I also easily can be pulled into the daily surface level interactions, drama and nuances of what comes with it. And that is ok because there is something I love about it – but I also know it is not entirely me. Like am I going to Higher Dose twice a week because I truly feel it is best for my health, or because it’s a trendy sauna to sweat in? No judgement either way. Just something I am honest and aware of.
That being said, I also feel a strong pull toward a deeper spiritual seeking that I know I’ve only tapped the surface of. It has always been part of me. I even remember as a kid having imaginary friends that lived up in outer space. I would tell Maria that I was adopted by Mom and Dad because I was really was born in space. I was an interesting kid, but it makes so much sense to me now. I want to explore all there is to know about myself and this other world that I’ve always known of and have witnessed in my meditation. But with such different extremes in my life, I struggle to understand that they are both ok and both a part of me.
I believe that loving my shadow self and living from that place of true self is the deepest spiritual practice I can follow. Throughout my spiritual journey, I tend to shame myself for liking material things, thinking that something must be wrong with me because I really want the new Gucci flats that just came out. There’s nothing wrong with me; I just like nice shoes. At the same time I also love reading Devra Premal and meditating to the Devi prayer for 45 minutes. I believe that grounding myself in the light of my true being is my ultimate peace and happiness. And I work each day to get closer to that sense of inner peace.
So with that, I invite you to think of or journal ALL the aspects of you. As evident, contrasted or hidden as they may be. Witness every little piece of you and love it all equally each day. Because it is when you love yourself fully that all those around you will too. Even if you think you’re born from outer space. 😉